


little bouquet of forget-me-nots

by serenityblues



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Minor plot but still?, Mutual Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, because they are both idiots and don't notice right away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:09:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8614459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenityblues/pseuds/serenityblues
Summary: three times they almost fuck and one time they do.





	1. Chapter 1

Mark doesn't remember how he got here, body trapped between the bathroom door and Jaebum's solid body, one hand pinned to the side and the other tangled in the mess of Jaebum's hair, gasping against his insistent lips. The music is so loud he can feel the vibrations coursing through his skin, waves hitting the wooden door against his back and traveling past the thin burgundy sweater he had thrown on moments before Jackson had dragged him out of their dorm room while ranting about some big party on the other side of campus.  
  
It's not even because he is inebriated. If anything Mark is probably one of the only sober ones at the duplex, having chosen to drown himself in the 12-pack of Sprite he had found abandoned in the cooler at the foot of the dining table instead of the cans and bottles of beer piled high in the guestroom bathtub. Being a lightweight has taught him not to drink more than half a can while out at a party with Jackson, who had the innate ability to get shitfaced drunk and then pass out in completely inadequate places. But right now Mark feels like he has chugged half a dozen, head so light he feels like he is going to black out himself from the the warm hand under his shirt and the pair of lips sucking a painful bruise at the base of his neck.  
  
The moan that escapes Jaebum's lips when Mark nips at him makes Mark's already scalding skin burn hotter, and he tugs harder at the soft brown hair between his fingers, hips canting up towards the body pressed against his own. Mark can feel the curving of lips against his skin, a hand traveling down to press firmly against the trembling muscles of his abdomen. He whines low in his throat , cock so hard he feels like it's going to burst at the slightest touch.  
  
Im Jaebum. Fellow third year from Mark's microeconomics class that makes panties - and boxers, let's be honest - drop at the tiniest flash of his too-white-teeth, that smells like sandalwood and expensive aftershave and looks better than anyone in a plain black T. Also the same guy Mark has spent an awful lot of time staring at since the semester started, tracing the outline of his broad shoulders from two rows behind. Which is saying a lot considering the semester is almost over.   
  
This is definitely not a place Mark thought he'd find himself in.   
  
The scrape of teeth against the flesh of his abs brings him back to reality, and Mark looks down, startled to realize Jaebum is kneeling in front of him and has moved the hem of his crew neck up and over his hipbones, is nosing at the faint trail leading towards his buckles. Mark's hand loosens around his head at the sight, breath coming out in huffs as Jaebum kisses the pale expanse of his torso. Mark's heart beats erratically at the sight, as if he just ran a marathon rather than having a make-out session in a fancy sorority apartment.  
  
A sudden panic cuts through the lust filled haze in Mark's mind when he feels his buckle coming undone, and he closes his fingers over the locks of hair again, pulling Jaebum away just as his cheek graces the tent in his pants.   
  
"W-wait, Jaebum—" There are a million thoughts running through Mark's head despite the desire that burns like fire through his veins, but there is one that jumps at him insistently, not willing to be ignored.   
  
He doesn't do this. Mark doesn't do this. He isn't the kind to hook-up in random bathrooms in college parties. Sure Jaebum isn't a stranger, sure Mark has thought about him during nights, tugging himself to completion in the quietness of his own room, or in the shower during the late evenings (and okay, he might have even seen his face once or twice behind closed eyelids while his ex-girlfriend had him in her mouth, but that's besides the point, right? Right). But this is still bathroom and someone is knocking on the door and despite the clarify in Jaebum's eyes Mark doesn't know if he is drunk or not.   
  
He's not about to hook up with his long-time crush next to a fucking toilet.   
  
"You don't want this?" Jaebum asks, thumb tracing invisible circles on Mark's hipbones that do nothing to help the hardness in Mark's pants. Jaebum leans back on his ankles and the way he looks at Mark makes Mark's heart skip a beat too many. He feels like a prey before his predator. A very willing, very turned on prey, but a prey still. He finds he doesn't mind.   
  
"No! No..., I-I want this," he replies hastily, gulping at the way Jaebum's index finger dips suggestively past the waistband of his boxers, staring unabashedly as Jaebum's tongue darts out to lick his lips. There are more knocks but the feeling against Mark's back does nothing to grab his attention. Not when Jaebum is looking at him through his lashes, a smirk at the corner of his lips.   
  
"Then...?" The finger dips lower, gracing the trimmed hair below and Mark's breath hitches.  
  
"I—"  
  
"For _fuck's_ sake, I don't care who the fuck you are! If you don't leave in 10 seconds I'm gonna piss all over this goddamn floor and your only way out will be to walk through it!"  
  
Needless to say the words are heard past the door this time, and they meet each other's eyes, Mark's in mild horror while Jaebum just looks miffed, before they scramble to make it out of the bathroom before the threat becomes reality. Something flashes through Jaebum's eyes as Mark buckles his belt back in place, but Mark decides to ignore it. It's too much for one night. Too much. Too quick. Makes no fucking sense. But he can still feel Jaebum's eyes following his movements, doesn't miss the way Jaebum's keeps his hand on the small of his back as they exit the bathroom.   
  
The party is still in full swing and although the crowd has never really bothered Mark, today it makes him feel stuffy and hot.  Or maybe that's just the heat still coursing through his body due to the person next to him and said person's hand moving to circle his slim waist. His heart continues beating shallowly against his chest. Mark vaguely wonders if you can get drunk off of kisses.  
  
The feeling of lips gracing his nape seem to be the last straw, and Mark is ready to throw all caution to the wind and drag Jaebum to the nearest room when—  
  
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaark!" Jackson's booming voice from somewhere to their right. Mark turns to look for him, mild fright taking over because his best friend's voice is reaching a whole another pitch and that can only mean one thing: Wang Jackson is wasted and looking for his favorite human pillow.   
  
His heart stutters when he feels Jaebum's hold loosen on his waist, but just as Mark turns to speak to him ( _don't go, fuck, please don't go_ ) a body comes barreling and crashes into his own, sending Jaebum toppling towards the wall. Jackson's wraps his arms and legs around him like a neglected koala and past his drunken mumbling Mark hears Jaebum's hearty laughter. He finds he really likes it.   
  
"I-uhm-... sorry, Jackson is kinda—"  
  
Jaebum's eyes seem to glister under the dimmed light. "That's... that's alright, Mark." It's the first time Mark hears him say his name. He finds he likes how it sounds, too. Jaebum gives him a sheepish smile, suddenly seeming more boyish than Mark has ever seen him as he runs a hand through his mess of black hair. He gives Jackson an amused look before his eyes drift to Mark's again, and there is something there again. That flash of something past the want and white hot lust. 

 

He wants to reach out and kiss him. It's stupid because they aren't anything, but he can't shake the feeling off. Or at the very least say something. Anything. But Mark's never been good with words and right then Jackson start making a weird gagging sound behind him and Mark flashbacks to the last fiasco where he had thrown up all over his new HBA sweater.

"I kinda gotta—" He makes a weird hand gesture towards Jackson before hoisting him off and next to him. There, much less likely to puke on him. Jaebum watches him with an unreadable expression before giving half a nod, a small smile playing at the corner of his lip as he moves off the wall. 

"I'll see you then."

"Yeah."

Mark watches him, desire still humming pleasantly in his veins. He catches Jaebum turning back to look at him before disappearing in the mass of people in the living room. His heart tightens in his chest. When he can no longer see him he turns back to Jackson, who gives him back a bleary eyed smile. Yup. Completely shit-faced.

Mark shakes his head, grabbing to balance his best friend better. "Fuck you, Jacks."

"With pleasure!"

"..."  
  
"Heh."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

They meet again three months later.

Well, to be fair they see each other often after that - uhm - incidence. Microeconomics is not exactly held in a big lecture hall, and Mark feels Jaebum's sharp gaze follow him more than once after that night. It's hard not to when Mark sits all the way in the back of the hall, right next to the wall-to-wall windows that overlook the snow laden courtyard of their university. And Jaebum, despite his penchant for leather jackets and abundance of ear piercings, sits right in the middle. Not close enough to be deemed an obnoxious gunner, but near enough to be an active participant in class and a frequent professor favorite.

He'd do it subtly of course, glancing at Mark while turning to face the back of the class to talk to his good friend - Sung Jin, Mark learns eventually - or letting his eyes linger a few seconds too long while retrieving something from the canvas backpack draped on the back of his chair. Sometimes when Mark rushes into class late Jaebum's eyes flicker towards his as Mark makes his way towards the back of the class, the smallest of smiles playing at his lips, the kind that make Mark's heart kick-start suddenly, blood rushing into his frost kissed cheeks. They don't talk, not really. But it's not unpleasant to be around him despite how awkward things could have gotten after that night in the bathroom. Mark hadn't expected much. After all, it would have only been a casual hook-up. But sometimes... just sometimes when Jaebum looks at him Mark feels he sees something hidden in the dark browns of his eyes.

Mark wishes he was brave enough to find out what it is, or at least that he'd approached Jaebum more quickly, because just when Mark thinks he has built up enough courage to talk to him again, finals come around and everything comes to a stuttering stop. An avalanche of finals and papers and projects comes crashing down on them all, and suddenly Jaebum is too busy to steal glances and Mark is too preoccupied trying to cram and survive the semester to think of a night that might have not meant anything at all.

Sometimes during those last final weeks of school he finds himself taking the longer route home, past the university's recreational center and down the busier street around their campus. It was littered with restaurants and quiet study spots, and as Mark passed by _GOTJava_ he'd sneak a quick glance inside, looking for a face in the bustling coffee shop he knew Jaebum worked at every now and then. Sometimes he'd see Jaebum behind the counter, the bright green apron all the employees wore wrapped around his narrow as he took orders. Other times, like the night before their Microeconomics final, Mark catches Jabeum walking around the tables, eyes tired but smile still as polite and welcoming as everyone knows it to be. It makes Mark wonder if that night between them had happened at all.

 _Maybe_ _it_ _didn't_ _amount_ _to_ _anything_ _because_ _it_ _was_ _never_ _actually_ _meant_ _to_ _go_ _anywhere_ , Mark can't help but think as he watches Jaebum's retreating back on the last day of class. He'd been concentrating on his own paper and could have sworn he felt someone's focused gaze, but when Mark looks up all he sees is the retreating profile of a face he has dreamt of more often than he is willing to admit. There is no goodbye, no casual smile like they sometimes exchanged before or after class. Just a retreating back and that distinct sinking feeling that comes with a missed opportunity.

It feels odd, but Mark convinces himself that he shouldn't actually feel anything at all.

 

Winter break proves to be a complete blur. Sometimes Mark thinks he has gotten way too used to Seoul's unforgiving winters, because everything feels hazy from the moment he steps out into the California heat. It's a welcomed haze though, filled with familiar faces and the scent of the sea and just overwhelming, overflowing warmth. Basking in the intensity of the sun and the scorching heat, Mark lets his mind go blissfully blank. He lets himself be. In the sanctuary of his childhood home Mark gives himself the luxury to, for once, not think or worry about anything at all.

He texts Jackson now and then. How can you not with Jackson as a best friend. Though more than anything Jackson just floods Mark's inbox with adorable pictures of his baby niece, the one who he finally gets to meet after years of just Skype calls. Mark retaliates with his own attacks, recruiting his nieces to spam Jackson's Snapchat. It adds a brand new dynamic to their already chaotic friendship. It's odd not to see Jackson every day, so it's nice to get the random texts at the most bizarre times of the day. Sometimes he forgets they are in completely different time zones.

 _'sooooo i met someone from our uni in Sydney'_ Jackson texts him at 4AM on the second Tuesday of their break, and even though Mark replies pretty quickly for once, noticing the clear excitement that seems to seep through the text, Jackson remains mysterious about it throughout the rest of the break. _'i'll tell you in korea. or maybe i'll show you ;)'_

_'you got laid or somethin'_

_'maybe? follow after me and just bust a nut man. who the fuck cares about mr sexy face'_

_'fuck off jackson'_

_'MARK DON'T IGNORE ME! I wont tell you about MY mystery man!!!'_

_'oh so its a guy this time?'_

_'I WONT TELL YOU IF YOU IGNORE ME_ '

_'you just did'_

The four weeks go by quickly. True to his intentions, Mark forgets about anything and everything and just enjoys. He doesn't get to spend time with his family often, and though it is his fault for picking to study abroad since high school, he can't blame himself completely because the experience is absolutely irreplaceable. So he decides to just forget about what will happen after break and basks in the today. He relishes in the boisterous chatter of his childhood friends as they build a bonfire at the beach, takes in the lulling quietness of his family's living room in the wee hours of the night. The tension embedded deep into his bones seems to evaporate completely as the days go by and he feels almost weightless, as if the coils and coils of unease that had built over the last year never existed in the first place.

By the time he comes back to the chilly winds of Seoul Mark's heart is full and his skin glows the faintest hint of gold. Yugyeom makes fun of him for looking like a bliss-ed out surfer dude, hair dyed platinum blonde and all, but Mark can tell the youngest is genuinely happy to see him this relaxed after months and months of near mental breakdowns and clipped words. Jackson is unfazed, having met this Mark years before they both became victims to the intense university curriculum.

He likes it. The way the cold air no longer seems to burn a path down his throat. It instead cools his insides and grounds him in ways it never has before.

 

Maybe that's what prompts Mark to act the way he does when he sees Jaebum again. Maybe it's the ease he feels that allows him to not run away the moment he sees the fellow fourth year late one night, sitting alone on one of the stools inside the convenience store with his head buried in a book. A cup of untouched, steaming ramen sits in front of him and there are chopsticks in Jaebum's right hand, as if he'd been about to eat right before the words sucked him in completely. Something twangs low within Mark as he takes in the sight. He has seen the younger man around campus now and then, flittering gazes meeting in equally flittering moments, but they no longer share classes and definitely don't share the same group of friends. It's no surprise they haven't seen each other much at all, even less talked. Mark purchases his own cup of instant noodles and a side of cheap mixed kimchi, glancing at Jaebum distractedly as the cashier hands him his change.

Mark's feet seem to move on their own accord. He slides into the empty seat wordlessly. Jaebum doesn't turn, too focused on his book and Mark takes note of the thick, black framed glasses he has on. With them, his disheveled brown locks, and his cream colored coat he looks sinfully attractive, but absolutely nothing like the guy who almost gave Mark a blowjob in a stranger's bathroom. For some reason the thought alone light a new feeling in Mark's chest.

He tears open the pack of kimchi and as he moves it over to Jaebum's side the younger man looks up from his book, catching Mark's eyes from behind his glasses. There is confusion in them before the recognition seeps in and Mark smiles, giving him a tentative look as he turns to break apart his own chopsticks.

"Tastes better with it," Mark tells him with a quick glance as he mixes the seasoning into his ramen, mouth watering at the spicy scent. He can sense Jaebum's gaze on him, the scrutiny of his stare so intense Mark can feel his heart go a beat too fast regardless of how unreserved he thinks he feels in the situation. Jaebum always had that effect on him.

Mark feels him look away for a moment and from the corner of his eyes he catches the book in Jaebum's hands closing. A smile threatens to bloom at the corner of his lips but Mark catches himself, taking a bite out of the ramen instead. Jaebum gives him another curious glance before grabbing his own bowl, the chopsticks in his other hand finally being used as he takes a piece of kimchi out of the pack.

Jaebum clears his throat, biting into the pickled cucumber.

"Thank you," he says. Mark hums as a reply, giving him a quick smile that Jaebum returns sheepishly.

There is silence, the inquisitive yet tranquil sort that makes you feel like time has slowed somehow. It's the first time they are alone since then, and it should feel weird but it honestly doesn't. So Mark lets it be, shaking his leg to the beat of a song stuck in his head as he slurps another mouthful. He ignores the steady _ba-dum_ , _ba-dum_ , _ba-dum_ of his heart against his rib cage.

"You look... different," Jaebum points out a few minutes later, rather bluntly too, but Mark expects nothing less of him. "I mean, not bad different, just—"

"—white surfer dude different?" Mark offers, chewing as he looks at Jaebum with one quirked brow. Jaebum blanches.

"No —wait, that's not what I meant—!" Mark chuckles at him, a high pitched laugh bubbling out when Jaebum levels him with a glare and resumes eating his ramen. It seems to catch Jaebum off guard too, who colors uncharacteristically.

"Ah, seriously."

"I'm kidding. That's what my friend said actually, probably the tan."

"You went back to LA?" Jaebum asks, and Mark looks at him with mild surprise. Everyone knows he is from the United States, that's easy enough to guess with both his English proficiency and accented Korean, but he hadn't expected Jaebum to know where exactly he was from. Most people didn't look past the "foreigner" or "American" label.

Mark hums again, taking in Jaebum's attire and the way his piercings shine on his earlobes. Only instead of dangling crosses and hoops they are all replaced by more inconspicuous black stubs. They are lined neatly against his earlobes, almost blending with the dark brown of his hair was it not for the way they would glistered every now and then.

"You do too," Mark says, nodding towards Jaebum's outfit. Jaebum runs a hand through the mess of his brown hair, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Yeah, can't really TA with leather jackets and ripped jeans." He elaborates when Mark gives him a confused look. "They offered a stipend if I TA-ed part-time for Legal Studies, you know the class Professor Kim teaches? Apparently they was a shortage of graduate students or something."

"I thought you worked at the coffee shop?" Mark asks, and this time it's Jaebum who regards him with curiosity, seeming to be pleasantly caught off guard. Mark tries not to blush at asking such a personal question, pretending to be unaffected by the way Jaebum's eyes search his own before speaking again.

"Hours weren't really working out. Plus at this point it just seemed like a better option you know? You never know with the job market once we graduate," Jaebum says with a click of his tongue and Mark nods as nonchalantly as he can muster, focusing on his ramen. He feels Jaebum's knee bump against his. "Anyway, what brings you out to eat gourmet food so late at night?"

Mark snorts at his lame joke, stomach doing a flip when he catches a flash of Jaebum's grin from the corner of his eyes. "Got kicked out."

Jaebum arches his brow at him. "Lover's spat?" he asks simply and Mark shakes his head.

"Roommate's got someone over," Mark replies, scrunching his nose. Jaebum let's out a knowing _'Aaah'_ as he leans his arm on the side of table. There it is again, that flicker of something in his eyes that Mark can't decipher, only now it's a lot more unguarded, as if Jaebum wants him to see. Mark holds his gaze, feeling this distinct urge to reach out and touch him. The soft ding of the convenience door snaps him out of it and Mark looks away as Jaebum clears his throat, turning to grab the pack of half eaten kimchi.

"Hey, you remember Jimin from our Microecon class?"

"Hmm"

"Guess what he told me about Professor Bang Shihyuk..."

Jaebum isn't a big conversationalist but he is surprisingly easy to talk to, handling the flow of the conversation with little to no effort. Unlike many people Mark has met after moving away from the USA, Jaebum seems completely unbothered by Mark's rather short replies. He talks about his own break, and Mark finds himself learning more about Jaebum than he is known in the past three an a half years of sharing odd university classrooms and one or two mutual friends. Like how Jaebum isn't actually from Seoul but Ilsan, and spent a good part of his break back home helping his parents out at his family orchard.

"But it's winter..." Mark says curiously, sipping on one of the cans of Pepsi Jaebum brought for them sometime between talking about the odd lecturing habits of their mutual professors and Moore's Law.

"You gotta prune the trees before spring, at least that's mostly what I did."

"Prune?"

"Hm, kind of like trimming it? It helps both maintain the trees and prepares them for the Spring."

Mark hums in understanding, watching Jaebum take a sip of his drink. The gold ring on his index finger catches in the faint light of the convenience store and Mark doesn't realize he is staring at it until Jaebum lowers his hand and Mark catches his eyes when he looks up. The ring makes him wonder. Does he have someone? Is it something else? Jaebum seems to notice too, because he touches the band with the pad of his thumb, tilting his head at Mark. His gaze is unwavering and soft.

"It's not what you think," he states simply, resuming his eating.

If the statement catches Mark off guard, he doesn't let it show.

"Do you go back often?" Mark asks him, trying to stir them back towards their original conversation.

Jaebum shakes his head. "Not really," he smiles at Mark. "I see them often enough, I shouldn't complain when you have it harder."

Mark nods, playing absentmindley with the dried meat in his bowl. "I got to see them more this year, I shouldn't complain either."

"What made you move to Korea in the first place?" Jaebum inquires suddenly. When Mark looks up his eyes are actually on Mark's lips. He tries not to let his heart skip a beat.

"I... don't really know actually."

Jaebum hums, taking another swing of his soda as Mark looks at him.

He doesn't shut him out though, or ask Mark to speak further on the matter. Instead Jaebum continues talking every now and then, filling the minor awkward breaks with remarks about the ramen and the weather and how the cashier in the back is actually a student of his, and Mark can't help but feel grateful that Jaebum doesn't find his silence as troubling as others.

Maybe he ends up saying that last part out-loud because Jaebum stops, turning to look at him with an unreadable look in his eyes. The light of a passing car flashes past the glass panel they are sitting next, illuminating the deep chocolate browns of Jaebum's eyes. Mark watches them flicker downwards towards his lips once again.

"You talk when you feel it's needed," Jaebum says, his voice an octave deeper than it had been before. "There is nothing wrong with that."

Something sparks up Mark's back, like a fire igniting deep in his veins and jolting him awake. It makes him feel uncharacteristically reckless and daring, like when he plunged off the plane while skidiving in California with his sister a few weeks back. It singes through his skin and he knows now that it's desire. He can see specks of it dotting Jaebum's vision too, as he watches him drink in Mark's features just like Mark is drinking in his. It's that familiar yet odd feeling Mark got back when Jaebum had him backed against the wooden door of the duplex's bathroom, that distinct feeling of being drunk without a drop of alcohol in his system. Only this time Mark knows that whatever comes out of both their mouths in not the liquor or the heat of the moment talking.

So Mark leans forward then, the plastic stool creaking under his weight, and brushes his lips against Jaebum's, forgetting how to breath when they fall open the slightest bit and push back against his. A sigh escapes him when Jaebum leans forward and kisses his bottom lip, one of his hands falling on Mark's clothed knee.

Mark moves away and opens his eyes, gulping the lump in this throat as his heart beats erratically against his rib cage. Jaebum's fingers brush against Mark's knuckles, the gentlest touch that somehow just send a new surge of want through him. There is a soft smile on Jaebum's face and it almost feels like a promise. "I live alone," Jaebum whispers, looking up to meet his eyes. Mark bites into the plushness of his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling at his words.

It's Jaebum who picks up after them,grabbing the cans and empty containers as Mark pushes in the bar stools, walking one step behind Jaebum as they approach the door. The young man behind the cash wrap bids them goodnight, shouting something about seeing Jaebum in discussion on Monday and if he notices the way Jaebum grabs Mark's hand in his and puts them both in the pocket of his overcoat, he says absolutely nothing.

There is a biting coldness in the wind that tonight, and it jolts Mark awake from the half-daze he finds himself in. It makes him realize with how much clarity he wants this, how much he actually wants Jaebum. It's a weekday and the streets are mostly deserted, a few students huddled around street stalls here and there, seeking the warmth to chase away the shivers that come on a cool spring night like this one. Just like the warmth of Jaebum's hand seems to sooth the sharpness of the cold away from Mark. He seeks it out, moving his hand within Jaebum's pocket to intertwine their fingers together, shifting closer in the dimness of the streetlight. He doesn't look up when Jaebum glances down at him, or when he moves closer, but he smiles when Jaebum's squeezes his hand, his thumb tracing the lines on Mark's palm.

Jaebum's apartment is no more than ten minutes away, but it feels like forever away. It isn't until they are within the confines of the building's elevator and the button to the 4th floor has been pressed that Jaebum moves closer, boxing Mark against the metal railing. It doesn't feel like last time though, it's not the same rush of adrenaline that came with being pushed and bitten in a stranger's bathroom. This time it feels like a beginning and Mark let's his eyes close when Jaebum's forehead comes to rest against his. He sighs, resting his free hand on Jaebum's hip, feeling the younger man's breath fan out against his cheek.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted this," Jaebum whispers against his ear, bending his neck to kiss against Mark's jawline. Mark loops a finger through his belt loop and pulls Jaebum closer, turning his head to search for Jaebum's lips only to have Jaebum pull back, taking a step back to look into Mark's half lidded eyes. There is that something in them again. Mark still can't name it. "For how long I've wanted it. When you didn't come after that night... I thought-"

"You didn't either," Mark whispers back a bit defiantly, looking up. Jaebum chuckles at him, but the laughter disappears from his eyes when he moves closer against. Only this time he presses his hips into Mark's and Mark lets out a quiet _'fuck'_ at the delicious friction, letting his forehead fall against Jaebum's shoulder.

"You were saying?" He teases, letting his hand tangle in the mess of Mark's blonde hair. Mark decides to shut him up, pushing back when the elevator dings and the metal doors open. Two can play at this game. And God knows Mark has been waiting forever to play it.

By the time they make it into Jaebum's apartment and onto his couch Mark's jeans are undone and Jaebum's sweater is halfway off his body. The room is chilly but Jaebum's hands are warm, so warm as they trace the lines of Mark's abs just like they did that night in the bathroom. Mark moans when they dip past the waistband of his boxers, biting onto Jaebum's shoulder when he presses Mark back against the cushions and shoves a knee between his legs. Mark rocks upwards, smirking into Jaebum's skin when the youngest lets out a hiss against his ear.

"Shit," Jaebum gasps breathlessly, one of his hand moving up to cradle Mark's face when Mark cants up again, the other holding Mark's hip in a tight grip just below the elastic of his boxers. Something blooms in Mark's chest as he watches Jaebum struggle to regain control, eyes shut tight. He traces the outlines of Jaebum's face in the darkness of his apartment, the only light trickling in from the lit hallway, and watches Jaebum take in a sharp breath when Mark trails his fingers down between their bodies, palming Jaebum through the fabric of his denim. Jaebum whines low in his throat, sounding pained and desperate as he buries his face in Mark's neck.

"I—" Jaebum says against his skin, gulping thickly when Mark undoes his botton and zipper between them. "Fuck—Mark, wait—" He lets go of Mark's hip to grab his hand, movements slow as the lust simmers between them. He pulls back to look at Mark and Mark sees it again, that something mixed with unrestrained want in Jaebum's eyes, but he stops anyway because he needs to make sure.

"You don't want this?" Mark asks, mirroring Jaebum's words from that night. Jaebum recognizes them right away, letting out a small laugh as he takes a moment to catch his breath. He traces Mark's lips with his thumb, eyes going hazy as his breathing evens out. This time when he kisses Mark it's slow and tentative, as if Jabeum is taking it in and memorizing the taste of his lips.

"Yeah, that's exactly why you are in my apartment," he whispers after breaking the kiss, not looking away from Mark's lips. "Because I haven't wanted you since the moment I saw you."

The seconds trickle by and for a moment Mark thinks he has forgotten how to breathe completely. All he can hear is the beating of his own heart ringing loud in his ears, and the warmth of Jaebum's hand splayed against his skin. He waits for Jaebum to look up from his lips, and when he does Mark searches his eyes for an answer. He thinks he is about to find it when Jaebum moves again, threading his fingers into the silky blonde locks at Mark's nape and tugging the slightest bit.

"Just... go slow," Jaebum says after a few heartbeats and his words are so unexpected Mark just stares at him for a bit. There are many things he had expected from Jaebum, but this isn't one of them. Even back in the bathroom Mark had expected nothing more than a casual fling, another hook-up in the many people seemed to think piled high on Jaebum's list. He wasn't known to be a bad guy, not by far, but he was very much desired (and Mark had seen a fair share of desire directed towards himself, but he was also on the more reserved end of the spectrum, and it never reached the heights that seemed to surround Jaebum). Mark had heard people telling each other not to _'catch feelings'_ for the infamous campus heartthrob, that he was practically unattainable and even cold at the sound of commitment. Mark never expected the emotions emanating from Jaebum now, as he looked at Mark expectantly, his index finger tracing invisible circles on Mark's skin as he waited.

Maybe Mark stares for a bit too long because suddenly that subtle hopefulness in Jaebum's eyes melts into hesitation, as if he thinks maybe Mark might not want this after all. It's hesitation Mark doesn't want there. There are too many unanswered questions lingering between them, but Mark knows he wants it, whatever _it_ is, and Mark's not about to let Jaebum think he doesn't. So he puts a hand on Jaebum's chest and pushes him back. Jaebum's lets him, keeping one hand on Mark's hip as Mark maneuvers them around, sitting Jaebum back against the couch before straddling his legs.

"What if..." Mark whispers against his jaw, letting mischieve slip into his voice. He feels Jaebum's hands move to the small of his back and lets his lips trail towards Jaebum's mouth, smiling against it. "What if I don't want to go slow?"

Jaebum stops for a second, searching Mark's eyes and Mark lets him. He lets Jaebum in past the walls so he can see he isn't lying, that he is willing to go into this as blindly as he is letting on. And when Jaebum smiles back Mark leans into him, claiming his lips and swallowing the moan that Jaebum lets out when Mark rocks langudily against his body.

It's so easy to get lost into Jaebum. In the solid weight of his strong body below Mark's and the soft breathless groans he lets out every time Mark tugs on his lips with his teeth or nuzzles into the softness of his neck. Or when Mark's finally got his fingers wrapped around Jaebum's throbbing cock moments later, hard and hot in Mark's palm and all Jaebum can do is hiss and search for his lips, melting into heat of Mark's mouth and tongue and hand wrapped tight around him.

Jaebum is just so surprisingly submissive and pliant beneath him. Even with his palms spread wide over the soft skin of Mark's ass, thumb brushing against the side of Mark's own hardened cock, he let's Mark take over. He lets Mark control the pace. He hands Mark the power and it makes a new fire burn deep within Mark, one that blazes through him down to his toes and finger tips until Mark is grabbing one of Jaebum's hands and shoving it into his half opened jeans, growling low in his throat when Jaebum gives him a long tug.

Mark knows Jaebum's close when his hips start stuttering between them and he pulls Mark closer, burying his face in the crook of Mark's neck like he did moments earlier. He bites into the soft skin there, grip tightening on Mark's ass and dick and—

A loud knock resonates through the apartment and they both freeze, breathless and wide-eyed as they stare at each other in the dim light. Jaebum pants between them, small puffs of air cooling the sweat misting Mark's skin, letting his hand rest against Mark's thigh as they both wait and listen. Sure enough moments after there are a few more knocks, this time sounding more urgent than before. Mark sighs, pulling away and sitting back on Jaebum's thighs. The friction of the movement makes Jaebum hiss and Mark soothes it away with a small kiss on his wet lips, looking at him with as much want he sees reflecting back in Jaebum's brown orbs.

Another knock comes right after.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Jaebum whispers, frustration evident in his gaze as he glares at the entrance of his apartment. Mark gives him a defeated smile, feeling Jaebum's eyes on him as he tucks Jaebum in carefully and buttons his jeans. Mark is about to do the same to himself when Jaebum leans forward into him, resting his cheek against Mark's chest. He feels Jaebum open his mouth to say something when another knock comes from behind them. "Jesus, give me a fucking second!" Jaebum half shouts towards the door. He moves Mark gently off him before grabbing the first thing he finds off the floor, and it's not until Mark's tidied himself a bit and Jaebum's almost to the door that he realizes Jaebum is not wearing his black cableknit sweater but Mark's red sweatshirt. It's loose on Mark but fits Jaebum perfectly, accentuating the broadness of his shoulders and Mark tries not to grin.

He can't see the door from the couch, but Mark hears Jaebum open it and the confusion in his voice as he says, "Jinyoung?"

"Hyung, can I come in?" A small voice answers back, and Mark hears no further words being exchanged. He grabs Jaebum's sweater off the floor and throws it on his body as the door clicks shut. Moments later two figures walk in towards the living room and Mark finds himself turning to look at a raven haired man with reddened eyes and tear streaked cheeks. Behind him Jaebum looks both worried and conflicted and apologetic. Mark throws him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you had someone over," the man - Jinyoung - says in a gentle voice, bowing to Mark before he turns back to Jaebum. "It's okay, hyung. I can come back later—"

"It's alright," Mark calls out to him, and as Jinyoung turns back to look at him it hits Mark that he looks awfully familiar. He assumes he's seen Jinyoung around campus as he continues, "I was actuallly just on my way out." The lie is obvious, what with both his and Jaebum's flushed faces and the way Mark keeps his jacket close to his body, but maybe Jinyoung doesn't notice at all because he nods meekly, seeming confused as to what to do. Jaebum sighs, clasping Jinyoung's shoulder and moving him to sit on the smaller couch. He throws Mark another regretful look as he pats Jinyoung's head, but then his eyes zone in on what Mark's wearing. Jaebum looks down at his own body and then back at Mark before a grin blooms on his face and suddenly Mark thinks that maybe this situation isn't that bad after all.

Jinyoung stays in the living room, looking somewhat lost and small and Mark feels a pang of hurt at the sight of him as Jaebum walks him to the door.

"I'm sorry, I—" Jaebum starts, brushing his hair back and leaning against the wall as Mark slips on his shoes. "Jinyoung's like a little brother and I can't—"

He doesn't have to explain himself. They aren't anything. No yet at least. But the look in Jaebum eyes as he gazes at Mark tells him it's important for him that Mark knows this.

"It's okay," Mark tells him, zipping up his jacket to his neck and glancing towards the living room. "He looks like he needs someone right now."

Jaebum sighs again, "Thank you... and I'm...really sorry about this." Mark never took Jaebum as someone to apologize so easily, regardless of the situation they were currently in, but the fact he kept proving him wrong on so many accounts intriguided Mark to no end. Mark stares at him curiously, and when he realizes that Jaebum is holding his phone, probably having grabbed it from the coffee table before walking over, something warm and pleasant spreads through his chest. Mark shakes his head in amusement, moving his phone out of his pocket and exchanging it with Jaebum's, who grins back at Mark, looking like the most innocent sin with his hair tossed and bitten red lips.

"You know, I really like that sweater," Jaebum tells him after he hands Mark back his phone. "I kind of want it back soon, if that works with you."

Mark eyes his own red sweatshirt on Jaebum's body. It suits him well, maybe even more so than Mark. Mark returns the smile, pulling down the oversized sleeves of the sweater that isn't his own. It's cozy and warm. Just like Jaebum.

He doesn't reply, doesn't feel the need to. But right as Mark makes to step out Jaebum pulls him back, encases Mark's face between his hands and kissing him gently. It's the softest touch they have exchanged all night, and when Mark's eyes flutter open Jaebum is grinning down at him, eyes disappearing into half moons.

"Just in case you were thinking of not returning it," He whispers, giving Mark one last peck before moving away.

"Hm," Mark hums, searching Jaebum's eyes for that something for the briefest moment before giving a small wave and walking out, heart feeling full in the best way possible.

 

The wind is still as chilly as earlier, but it seems colder without a body next to his. Mark pulls his jacket closer, burying his nose in the neckline and sighing when Jaebum's clean musky scent drifts into his nose. He takes his phone out when it vibrates in his pocket, still half dazed. The screen lights up brightly in the darkness of the street, and Mark squints at it when it shows three missed calls and multiple texts. All from Jackson. He frowns, swiping to unlock his phone.

 _'he said no' 'mark reply back i dont know what to do'_ the last two read and something tightens in Mark's chest. He stares at the screen in confusion. Jackson had been so excited this afternoon, wanting everything to be perfect fo his date with the mystery man he'd refused to introduce Mark to. He's been crazy about 'Sydney guy' as Mark liked to call him, and had promised Mark he'd get to finally meet him after this.

"At least tell me his name if you aren't gonna show me his damn face," Mark had huffed weeks ago when Jackson was being particularly annoying about the whole thing.

"Okay fine, it's Jinyoung, but don't tell anyone. You know how rumors spread around this fucking campus."

Jinyoung. _Jinyoung_. The guy Jackson met in Sydney. The guy Jackson had invited over to dinner at their place and had promptly kicked Mark out for the night.

Jinyoung. Just like the guy who just came to Jaebum's past midnight with a tear streaked face and looking completely lost.

Mark picks up his pace, pocketing his phone as he rounds the corner in a hurry.

" _Shit_."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think it's kinda unfair that jaebum gets made out to be this chic bad boy when the guy is the cutest gumball and probably catches feelings real quick. i mean come on, he goes around feeding stray cats and have you heard his soundcloud?! so i had tons of fun with that here. surprise smut with feelings guys, it's not just them going at it like rabbits :D mark's character is really interesting to explode, i tried to stick as close to my perception of him as possible because i think he is super layered in general and it can get complicated real quick. i hope i did him justice. 
> 
> i made jinson's little mini plot sound like a telenovela i'm so sorry lmao
> 
> comments with cherries on top? <3?

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is  
> what is this i didn't even get to proof read  
> like? dislike? let me know.  
> 3 more parts coming!  
> (also, the fragment's drabble request hasn't disappeared! i'm slowly but surely working on it i swear!)


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